“And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Eph. 4:30-32).
Often we misstate what Paul wrote in Galatians 5:22 by referring to the items in the list as “fruits” of the Spirit. Paul used the singular noun “fruit” to introduce his list. The characteristics of a converted Christian are a package deal all building on the foundation of agape. And how is this accomplished?—because all “that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.” The Old Man of our flesh is in constant war against our soul, striving for the mastery of our developing character (1 Peter 2:11; Rom. 8:13; 6:16). But the Holy Spirit is stronger, and will prevail if not hindered by our unbelief (Gal. 5:16, 17; Rom. 6:6-14).
“Be kind one to another” is inseparable from “forgiving one another” in the above verse from Ephesians. Humanly speaking, true forgiveness toward another can only come when we realize our own personal guilt, otherwise we continue to harbor bitterness and resentment. Why? Because true kindness toward one another is foreign to our fallen natures. True kindness is an out-flowing of agape, the very antithesis of self, and as long as self reigns, kindness and forgiveness are only superficial masks. In the verses quoted above Paul lists those attitudes which are the natural expression of self: bitterness, wrath, anger, self-pity, evil speaking, and malice. These can only be replaced by tenderheartedness and forgiveness toward one another through a proper concept of the death of Christ for our personal sin (Luke 7:40-48).
The fruit of the Spirit “must come forth spontaneously from the heart of the true follower of Christ. They cannot be forced. ... Note the contrast between the works of the flesh and the fruit of the Spirit. The first come naturally; therefore in order for the fruit to be born we must be made completely over into new creatures.” The converted individual “still lives in the flesh, to all outward appearance the same as other men; yet he is in the Spirit and not in the flesh. ... the flesh has no power over him” (The Glad Tidings, pp. 121, 122).
In today’s modern language kindness is equated with soft-speaking, gentle tones of voice. The proverb “speak softly and carry a big stick” belies a false attitude of kindness that is actually rooted in self-centeredness. One with power to destroy might indeed speak softly to his adversaries, but the big stick behind his back indicates his true motives. Through the millennia many persons have held this idea about God. The attitude is that God is all-powerful, and though at times He might speak softly, He always carries that “big stick” of the final judgment and destruction of the wicked. Therefore, no matter how kindly He might speak to us, we still perceive Him as a threat.
Is God a threat? What does the Bible say? What is the source of true kindness? God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son as an atonement for our sin; even while we were in open rebellion against His will; even while we were His enemies spitting in His face and beating Him away with all our might, Christ died for the ungodly like you and me, to reconcile our wicked hearts to the One